Olympus by Night

How did we get here?

Lancelot stands victorious atop the battlements of his small frontier fortress and looks out over his domain. The grounds of Camlann show the unmistakable signs of battle as it stands littered with the remains of his defeated foe. An army of ghost, some 10,000 souls strong, led by the spirit of Confederate General Beauregard, took umbrage with his claim as Lord of these lands. They insulted his guests, threatened his friends, bombarded his hold, and threatened him with death. But as the sun rises over the Black Mountains, it is Lancelot that stands tall on his battlements thankful to his friends for their assistance, swearing a silent oath to repay them in kind.

All at once, Lancelot is gone and the moment of epic glory has passed leaving Billy Bob painfully aware of the magnitude of this situation. “How did it come to this? How did we get here?”

Not long ago, Billy Bob was just another American teenager trying to figure out which girl he was going to ask to prom. He was worried about college acceptance, spending every evening filling out scholarship applications, and every weekend trying to earn enough money to buy a truck before he would ultimately leave the sleepy little town of Grantville.

“I mean, I know how it started…” All it really took to throw this sleepy little town into upheaval and turn Billy Bob into Lancelot was a bright blue flash, a noxious green mist, and a raid on the town by a small army of rat like humanoids ending in several kidnappings and about 400 of Grantville’s townsfolk left in a coma.

“But then things got really weird…” Donnie is Arthur Pendragon, Lee Lee is Mordred, and Alice is the Lady of the Lake. Oh, and apparently the school is the seat of the round table that exists in a chamber on a fourth floor that the school has never had, and no one else can find.

“Oh, it doesn’t stop there…” A few days later Charlie is Galahad and Dyson is Morgause. We all go down into a tunnel under the school to track down some of the missing townsfolk and wind up finding an underground river. Low and behold, it has a ship on it. This ship is full of those rat like creatures, and of course there is a fight. Now we won the fight, but Arthur nearly died, Dyson was a complete coward, and we are all now responsible for the kidnapping of Gwenevere.

“Then the day after our little subterranean showdown…” Billy Bob and company are inspired to wonder around the outskirts of Grantville and lay claim to their respective domains. Billy Bob claimed the south. Arthur claimed the North. Mordred became an expert in various holy sites, and Gareth and Gawain are suddenly here amongst us.

Well I guess that’s how we got here. But how did here get to us?

Admits a Twilight Dream

As my consciousness stirred, I found myself waking up in the same alleyway from the night before. Trashy, raggedy, and crumbling. I look up and see the sky is gray. No light or sun or clouds. No darkness nor moon nor star. Just an eerie twilit glow. “Malfeas” I say. The little Tassadar toy I have is sitting on my shoulder, looking around and with a worried look on his face. “Ah man, not here again. We shouldn’t be here.” He says. I decide to steel myself and walk out of the alleyway this time around. “Let’s just have a quick look around. Worst comes to worst I can wake us up if anything happens.” I say to him as I pace out.

I look around and recognize a rather familiar street. No cars or traffic though. I walk out to the middle of the street and turn around. There’s Magpie’s Tattoo parlor. In ruins. The 2nd story is missing and crumbling to the ground. I fight the urge to instantly walk in and see if anyone is hurt. Deciding it better to not touch anything if i can. I take a gulp and swallow some vomit as I force myself to walk onward in the middle of the deserted street.

I climb up a hill as the street started to slope. ‘I know I am not in the real world.’, I think to myself. ‘This street doesn’t slope up.’ As I make my way up the slope, I can now see that’s down beneath. The View is shocking and disturbing. There is nothing but flat, barren wasteland. The sky is still a disheartening gray above. I notice there is no wind either. Not even a breeze. I sigh and strain my eyesight. Far ahead I seem a gathering of dark shadows. “Please tell me we aren’t going to go investigate that” my Tassadar spirit guide pleas with me. “Sorry buddy.” I say. “We have to see what this is about.”

It takes me some time but I end up getting there. As I approach I begin to realize that the shapes are people. They are… kneeling? All of them. There are so many. It’s a huge crowd. Much bigger than any gathering I’ve seen in DC. As I near the crowd I can see that they are all still. Not blinking, not breathing, not a single flicker of life. Yet they are not statues. They are people. I see their hair, their skin and their clothes. It’s real. So I can rule out a gorgon being here. As i start to make my way towards the center, I notice it’s not just mortals. Amazons, giants, centaurs, nymphs, and an unknowable assortment of mythical creatures are intermingled with the humans. All of them facing the same direction.

I know I am nearing the middle of this. I can see a few tall figures up on an elevated slope. The closer I get the more I start to recognize who is here. There’s Rafi. And Oleg. Is that Thor over there? Despite never having met Thor, I can tell it’s him. Behind him is Amaterasu. To my right is Sobek and Quetzalcoatl. I finally reach the end of the rows of people. Up on the slope I see my family. Felix, Ophelia and Zeno, all of them kneeling and motionless like the rest, facing the figure in the middle. There is ol’ Walt and Kate opposite of them. Along with a few other people that I assume is the remaining of the Greek Pantheon. James Cornelius is right smack in the middle. Everyone’s eyes seem to be looking at him. He looks just like he does in his high school yearbook picture. To his left is Poseidon. The old Greek version with a long beard and tangled in fishnets. To his right is Somme Sabine. Hades. She is clad in a black toga with a golden sash around her. Her hair is on fire too. Like in the Disney version, except it’s gray. Like everything else here. They are both looking away from James, to an empty spot in between them. James seems to be holding a scythe in her left hand and a trident in her right, looking straight up and staring off into space.

I look over at my Tassadar toy and he has the same worried look but it seems even more exaggerated than before. I turn my gaze back to James and i nearly jump out of my pants as his gaze is meeting mine. “FUCKING HELL” I yell out in fear and surprise. “Little warning next time James, don’t you think?” He doesn’t say anything. I also notice that his face didn’t move, just his eyes. Those gray, piercing eyes. I move to the left and the eyes follow. I move back and they keep following. After a while of staring at each other His eyes move to the empty spot in front of him. “is that spot for me?” I ask, not expecting an answer. His eyes dart back to me then to the spot. “Guess it is” “Ok Astaria, I think it’s time to wake up.” Says Tassadar. “There is only so much creepy I can take for one day” “Yeah, I agree” says me.

I start to concentrate on home and my own bed like I did before. When I open my eyes, James is right in front of me. Before I could even scream out, he covers my mouth and holds me tight. I can feel my strength waning and he moves us back up to where he was. I close my eyes again and start focusing with all my will and power on my own bed while still feeling myself being dragged in my upright pose. I then feel myself stop moving and feel James’ hand grasp my arm. The feeling then goes away as i feel my consciousness come back to my body and i wake up in a startled fright. Sweat dripping all over me. My eyes regain their focus and I am back in my sanctum. I look over at the clock and see it’s almost time to go to the party. “SHIT I’m gonna be like Felix and be late!”

I’ll sort through this later, maybe I can get some answers…

Suffer Not a Fool

“A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool”
-William Shakespeare

“It’s official.” Felix thought to himself. “At first I thought it was youth and a lack of exposure to stress outside of a controlled environment. Then I thought it was recklessness brought on by a new found sense of empowerment and an overestimation of her abilities. Next I thought it was a case of millennial entitlement. You know. The ‘we are right because our teacher says so’ mentality. But it wasn’t any of these. As it turns out, it’s just a total lack of common sense.” Felix was unaware of it at the time, but his facial expression was one of total absolution.

The universe must take delight in revealing certain truths because at every turn, it takes the opportunity to show us how egotistical, short sighted, and idiotic people with power truly are.

Here’s the short version:

Astaria is a f#cking moron who is better suited to be a rodeo clown, than a leader.

Now to shed a little light on this highly contentious hypothesis, here is the evidence:

Shortly after her ascension to the divine, Astaria received a gift from our Titanic mother in the form of a staff that can control lightning. She then proceeds to walk around the city with this five foot long death stick on her back. Not only does she carry this thing around on her back, but uses it to blow a hole in the roof of the Capital Building. That’s right, the Capital Building.

Not long after she added the unwanted sky light to a national monument, she gets an email. This email contains pictures of Astaria walking around the city with the previously mentioned curtain rod of doom, and a message to meet the sender at a public place to discuss a job.

Astaria tells Ophelia about this and they go off to meet this concerned citizen. They arrive at that public place only to discover that the Kodak moment was sent by none other than Ares himself. That’s right, Astaria is being leveraged by yet another member of our extended family. Seriously, you can’t make this stuff up.

So she agrees to perform this job for Ares, and of course it’s a task she is woefully ill-equipped to do. What is this job you ask? Locate and steal some evidence in an active DCPA murder investigation. At this point dear reader, a painful feeling should be assaulting your senses. You know, something akin to that sensation that immediately follows a good hard kick to the baby maker.

A few days go by and I’m finishing up my morning run when I see our self-proclaimed Queen of Olympus go and take this confection of stupidity and turn it into a full blown intellectual abortion. I see the divine dunce walk into DCPA HQ where she proceeds to ask the receptionist for a meeting with Ophelia’s ex-boyfriend.

Yeah you read that right, the one person in the whole damn government that even knows she exists. What else did she do? Well let’s see, I’m not really sure, but things got interesting when Ophelia showed up. And bless her heart, she wants to help. They’re gonna hack into the DCPA network to locate the evidence and steal it from the evidence lock up.

I tried my best to talk them out of it. I really did, but Ophelia just can’t help herself when someone tries to tell her she can’t have something.

Right as they get started, Zeno shows up. I really can’t remember what he had to say about the situation, but I’m fairly certain it was something vague, annoying, and passive aggressive. 5 minutes later, all hell breaks loose. Ophelia gets caught by building security… Astaria knocks a hole in the side of the building… SWAT shows up… the building goes into lock down… Ophelia whammies the guards to escape… but gets trapped in an elevator shaft… and here’s the best part, Astaria takes the time to text Ophelia to say she is “Out of here” and that Ophelia “is on her own.”

Just as Zeno and I are about to do be dragged into this mire of lunacy, Ophelia drops the divine equivalent of a nuke on D.C. She unleashes all of her divine energy and cripples the D.C. infrastructure. Not kidding. Think the absolute worst blackout, power surge, traffic jam, and communications catastrophe in history, and then multiply it by Bill Gates.

I mean it, nothing worked for days. Every communication network went down. Everything still worked, it just could not communicate. Anything that relies on a communication network in D.C. was as worthless as a condom to a pregnant woman.

All of this because Astaria went walking around with her Glow Stick of Destiny.

Zeno's Debut

Zeno arrives at the Acheron, and meets with Rafi prior to his debut as one of Ms. Sabine’s fighters.

“Rafi, pass this to Ms. Sabine as soon as possible. It is my list of questions that I would like answers for. As I did get this to her late, I would prefer money as my payment for this fight.”

“Ok Zeno, you know what you are fighting?”

With a predatory smile, “It doesn’t matter. Though I will be using my weapons in this fight. Now I have to go prepare so I am not late.”

“Ok, umm… good luck.” Rafi says but Zeno has already left for his locker room.

“I wonder why I got these VIP tickets” Noel says to Jay Becker, her “sports” writer.

Jay Becker mostly writes stories that attempt to prove that non-humans, enhanced humans, or even aliens play American sports, giving their teams unnatural advantages.

“Well I am just glad Zeno couldn’t make it. He might know the wilderness better then… well anyone, but I have a far better eye for sports and competitions.” Jay responds.

“Ladies and Gentlemen” the announcer booms. “Welcome to tonight’s fight. It plans to be an exciting no holds bar anything goes fight. Entering the arena now another of Ms. Somme Sabine favorites standing at 6’ weighing 175lbs, The God of Hunters Artemis!!!!”

Zeno walks into the arena wearing the Mad Hat and a scarf covering his face. He is also wearing camo pants and a camo shirt with a bandolier with stone knifes across his chest and more stone knives strapped to his legs. (14 total Knives total)

“Now his opponent the fighter who kill most of the contestants in the last fight standing at 6’ and weighing 1200lbs, a beast without equal the NEMEAN BEAR!!!!!”

Charging in from the opposite side of the arena the nemean bear is released, and charges straight for Artemis.

“What is this?” squeaks Noel.

“He is going to be slaughtered” Jay says weakly.

As soon as the bear starts it charge Zeno throws 2 knives, both of which bounce off the bears hide. As the bear reaches him Zeno does a flip over the bears head as it tries to bite him and attempts to force a dagger into the back of the bears neck, and fails as the bears hide is too strong. As Zeno lands behind the bear its rear leg kicks Zeno but luckily he only receives a light scratch, but is thrown back 10’. Zeno is able to get to his feet before the bear reaches him and dodges the swipe that was aimed to take his head. In return Zeno was able to bound away and was able to deliver a knife into the armpit of the bear. it was unable to sink all the way in but it did lodge there until the bear knocked it out with his muzzle.

Though the fight just started Zeno was already having to control his breathing, and was sweating lightly. Deftly twirling a knife in his hand waiting for an opening. Thinking to himself. “This is a worthy fight. One I have not had since his awakening. Nothing had been hard for me. The zombies the night Astaria awakened were stupid and simple creatures. My hunts versus the wildlife in the forest are painfully easy, since most beasts cower and freeze when I’m near. Now for the first time since I awakened I might get hurt.”

The bear roars, and starts circling Zeno.

“This beast is smart, it thinks, it plans, and it is able. What fun this will be.” Zeno joyously thinks. Frowning slightly “I feel bad for Felix, being unable to recognize the joy of the fight, the hunt, the kill. He is small minded, thinking he is the only one able to defend himself. Wasting a chance like this for a truly fine kill. He is probably the softest of us siblings.”

The bear charges and Zeno feints and dodges easily.

“Astaria at least has a goal, though she does act spoiled. Thinking the world will do whatever she wants, because she is Zeus. Even the Zeus of legend never got everything he wanted, and not everyone bowed to him.”

Zeno flings another knife at the bears head narrowly missing its eye.

“I do not know what Ophelia wants, but she has a task that she does and does it well. The divine mailman” Zeno snickers. “She at least lets others pick their own path, and helps when asked.”

The bear charges and Zeno retreats to the arena wall, runs up it and does a back flip over the bear, launching 2 more knifes at the bear as it crashes into the arena wall.

Sourly thinking “But Felix… all he does is complain that we don’t sit in a box and stay safe, or he complains when we don’t do want he thinks is best. He has the most growing it seems.”

The bear charges. This time Zeno Goes under the bear, surprising it and this time, Zeno is able to pierce the soft flesh of the right rear knee joint. Though the effort it took to pierce the joint slowed Zeno just enough so that before he could recover the bear is able to spin and swat him. He takes massive damage and his left arm breaks as he is thrown 20’ into the wall of the arena. Zeno is stunned but the bear who doesn’t seem to feel pain is still hobbled by the knife embedded into its leg. As the bear hobbles towards Zeno it roars again, but this time Zeno is waiting and flings a knife down the throat of the bear. This stops the bear cold as it tries to cough the knife up. It realizes its mistake in taking its eyes off Zeno too late. As the bear jerks its head up Zeno jams a knife into its left eye vaults up as the bear roars lifting its head then throws another knife into its right eye, with enough force that it disappears into the beasts head. The bear’s death roar is pathetic as there is a knife in its throat. It stumbles twice then collapse. Zeno rushes forward throwing a knife into the bears jugular, barely lodging it in then jump kicks the knife in to lodge it, followed by stepping on the knife effectively slitting the bears throat, ensuring its demise.

“We have a Winner. The God of the Hunt bests the Nemean Bear.” The announcer yells.

“That is not possible” Jay says. “No mortal can move like that. No beast should be that big. No it had to be a trick. I can’t write about this it was a movie. This is a joke, a scripted farce. Lets go Noel, we wasted our time.”

“I…I can’t move. Jay” Noel stutters. “But, yea it had to be a trick. Why am I so scared. Why am I More scared of him then the bear?” Noel says pointing at the man in the witched hat.

“Don’t worry about it. It is all fake. Lets go.” Jay states with mild disgust, offering his hand to Noel.

“Yea… Lets go.”

Weekly Reflections
Adventure Log for Leelavathi Lee

I wanted to be a botanist.

I thought I would live out my days happily, quietly. Get a degree from some middle-of-the-road university, work at a simple botanical garden somewhere far away from Becky Lee and her antics – and all of the people around her who encourage her more ridiculous ones. I wanted to be forgotten completely – carve a simple little corner of the world out for me, plant some seeds and grow something new and beautiful.

But, as it turns out I’m a serial killer… well, a mass murderer according to Alice. It’s a new experience, seeing genuine terror in someone’s eyes. Confusion, fine; apathy, fine; even hatred in some parts of town, but never terror… She’s genuinely frightened of me.

And why wouldn’t she be? I’m frightened of myself… My brain’s expanding, it feels like, with knowledge just forming out of nowhere in my head… but all of the information that’s appearing are things I don’t want to know. Just yesterday, I was minding my own business watching TV – when the Jeopardy contestant didn’t know the clue: “The fastest way to achieve victory in a standard chess match.” He didn’t know – he hummed and hawed at it before the buzzer rang. I just lost it – threw my yogurt cup at the screen, screamed at the top of my lungs (“Fool’s mate! Fool’s mate!”), then I started running through all the ways I could punish his stupidity in my head – I could stab him in the neck with the little pen, slam his head down into the podium, throw him into the question wall, break off one of the wooden boards in the set and impale him with it, strangle him with the mic on his shirt, hang him with his own belt… I was son angry – at him for getting the question wrong; at myself for thinking these horrible things about him – I tore my TV from the wall and threw it out of the window into the back garden – just in order to snap myself back from reality… And the worst part of this whole story… I’ve played chess exactly once, and I sucked at it. Now, apparently, I’m quickly becoming a grandmaster – because just thinking about the game gets me thinking about offensive strategies. Honestly, a few days ago, I didn’t even know how a knight moved in the game, now I’m subconsciously picking out the flaws in the Two-Knight Defense that some advanced players use. The even worse part of this whole story is I’d accidentally crushed several of the tulips I’d been growing.

How much information can a brain hold, I wonder? All of my studies – my knowledge of flowers and trees and berries – is it all going to disappear? Is it going to get pushed out by these horrid facts and figures about bloodshed and violence and war? I keep thinking it will, at least stop, and I’ll be free of the constant terror of the next morbid factoid… but every morning, I wake up sweating – grasping a hairbrush or a kitchen knife like it was a blade to defend against a thousand merciless foes – with a dozen new twisted figures in my head. It might be getting worse – I woke up in full armor and my real sword in hand – halfway into the Sleeping Forest – a few nights ago. Then, I was able to rest for a couple nights and then last night, I woke up to find that I’d somehow managed to stab a pen through my mirror and into the wall behind it. I’m just going to have to start locking myself in and hope I don’t hurt anyone.

Alice told me – in between her jibes and insults – that I’d feel more rested if I found my old self’s places of power. Donald did mention that he feels refreshed around courthouses – which must be Arthur’s places of power. No prizes for guessing where mine is – surrounded by death and misery.

The town morgue used to be in the basement of the hospital, but they turned the basement into another ward a few years ago and they moved the morgue across the street into this old Civil War-era building. They moved all the equipment into the old building, but they never bothered to install any new security – who wants to hang out with dead people after all? – or at least anything past a simple combination keypad on the door. I managed to convince the town mortician – a sweet-natured, but overweight and doddering old man named Mr. Fischer – that I was considering a career in the field and he showed me around the place. As he entered, I recorded the sounds the keypad made on my phone; then found an identical keypad on eBay, bought it; then matched the tones of my keypad to the recording on my phone. Simple, and now I can get into the morgue whenever I need to. It feels gross even saying that. Ew.

But, Alice was right. Just sitting in here makes me feel better and more relaxed than I’ve felt in days. Right now, I’m perched on the autopsy, sitting cross-legged with a pile of books in front of me and a packet of chips to my right. Around me, lie the dead – that one died in the attack, killed by the rats; so did that one; that one’s been mislabeled (Fischer says falling debris, but he died from a sudden fear-induced heart attack before that); that one’s blunt trauma though.

This is my new normal now, I suppose. Hanging out after hours, doing my reading surrounded by the deceased… I wonder how long it will be until I sit with the corpse of someone that I myself killed… I wonder how long it will be until the Round Table choose to execute someone other than a titanspawn? Will it still be as terrifying easily as the rats were? Will I still enjoy it as much?

… Is it wrong that I hope so?

There are no Kings, only fools and tyrants

How could she do it? How could Hades have so little respect for life? Had she lost all semblance of humanity?

Felix rests hunched over in a simple kitchen chair in Zeno’s apartment staring at his hands. His face is swollen and discolored with a cut above his right eye. His body is starting to show signs of the beating he took at the hands of something much larger than himself. His eyes are sharp and his breathing is slow, but intense.

His demeanor is that of a man who is struggling to make sense of what has happened. He knows what happened. He remembers it all…

The walk from the dressing room to the stage door and the concrete floors and walls utterly devoid of happiness. A familiar and welcome tension building in his muscles. That gate is the only thing standing between him and his purpose. “When that door opens, I am not a man, I am fighter. I am a warrior, I am victory.”

The gate begins to rise. Light and sound breaks through the growing gap that appears at the foot of the portal. No more feelings, no more thoughts. Just a job to do.

Wait where’s the ring? Where are the seats? Where is the ref? The judges? Why is there sand beneath my feet? Oh damn, that’s Connor McGregor.

A moment later the announcements begin and Felix knows he has committed himself to something evil. A twisted perversion of honorable combat. 29 men and a Minotaur now stand in the arena. All but the Minotaur are confused. Felix’s senses are overwhelmed with the feelings of the men around him. Fear, confusion, terror, and dread all flood his mind.

Then a thought, “She did this. She trapped these men in a meat grinder for her sick twisted pleasure. If I lose, she removes a pawn from the board and Astaria loses an ally. If I win, I empower her with more money and dead bodies.”

Another announcement…”and to keep things interesting, these will ensure no tries to run.” Suddenly trap door in the sand open and all manner of beasts spring forth. Every form of carnivore, bound in chain, and driven to fury with hunger. “they’re here to make sure no one tries to escape. There’s no way out but through.”

The door to the apartment slams shut and Felix is jolted back into the present. Astaria, Zeno, and Julie are there. They are talking and somewhere in his mind he is hearing every word, but at the moment all he can think about is how happy he is that his loved ones are safe.

Astaria is talking now. “…so I went to talk to Hades about getting a meeting with her father…” Astaria went to speak with Hades, alone and without back up. She blindly walked into Hades realm and asked her for a favor. At that exact moment, Felix lost all respect for his baby sister. She is no longer a young woman struggling to find her way in a dangerous and unpredictable world. She is a moron looking down the barrel of a loaded gun. She is a complete and total idiot with the power to control lightning and build kingdoms.

Felix is now keenly aware of a harsh and inescapable truth: Hades is a tyrant and Astaria is a fool.

Game for a Throne

Astaria Olympian, the latest reincarnation of the Theoi Zeus, sits upon the throne of Mount Olympus. An empty kingdom. Vacant and populated by a lonely, crying girl. Not even the Kingdom of the gods and more of a windy, solitary mountain. Winds blow furiously as Astaria’s emotions flare up. Lightning crackles from her staff in her fury. Raging between anger, disappointment and sorrow, Astaria screams a thunderous cry in her empty domain. What has happened to her life?

She was once a promising engineering student, 4.0 GPA, scholaships and more. She still has her friends and family, but they all seem to be falling apart from her. Even more so, the prophetic dreams Astaria gets have become more common and more urgent.

Her friends may never believe in gods and monsters. Ignorant to the world around them thanks to the mist. They aren’t dependable.

Her eldest sister is now an apparent rival for kingship, that if she gets, could have dire consequences for all. She can’t be trusted.

Her oldest brother is a recluse that walls himself off from society and barely even keeps in touch. He can’t be relied on.

Her 2nd oldest brother is so focus on what’s directly in front of him and has no faith and trust in her. Still treats her like a kid that knows nothing. He won’t come around.

Her worst enemy has all the resources of the world, probably literally. Just set up a fight to maybe kill Felix, bet her to drop out of school, (which was not shook on, so does it count?), probably has a bunch of plans to get Hera and is at best, the living incarnation of Chaotic Neutral.

But there is hope and a bright side. Hades doesn’t know who Hera is yet. And here, on Mount Olympus, once the greatest capitol of the ancient world, sits a sulking child, wondering what she has to do to regain the former glory of her past self. She is both Zeus and Astaria. She will do whatever she has to to become King again. And no mortal, sibling, evil death queen or titan will stand in the way of achieving that.

And so, Astaria, King of the Air Kingdom of Olympus, stand tall and resolute. Rising for the first time: As a King!


What in the actual F#ck?

Astaria has built a kingdom in Olympus, Ophelia has a new pet bird woman who hates men, Zeno has managed to find a lost society of tree nymphs, and I may have inadvertently turned Julie into a Goddess.

We have found Hades, Hephaestus, Dionysus, and may have a lead on Hera.

And it’s not like things we are making friends in all of this. Hades is probably laying plans to target Astaria, Hephaestus is putting on a pretty face and playing ambassador, Dionysus may well be more crazy than hot, and trust me she is 100%, without a doubt, the hottest being I have ever seen. And then there’s Hera, who might be responsible for the current ass-clownery in U.S. Presidential politics.

Things are moving fast and becoming more dangerous every day. Zeno keeps going off by himself, Ophelia disappeared for a day and wound up waking up from a blackout in Baltimore, and Astaria can’t seem to get it through her head that just because she is Zeus, she isn’t a King.

When are they going to wake up and see it? When is it going to hit them? Before we were Gods, we were subordinate to the Titans. We were not all powerful, we could be killed, and we may well have existed for eons before we secured enough power to overthrow the Titans.

Ho do I explain this to them?

Dyson Barnes Chapter 1
An Autobiography

So… I am writing an autobiography since, well… no one else will. Hell, everyone would probably prefer if I died in a fire so they could scatter my ashes and never think about me again. I am one of the people no one wants to follow since as soon as they do they receive nothing but scorn and suspicion. I guess that is what you get for being the Lord of Assholes. For now though let us return to the beginning, to a time when I was still a mere mortal.

By the I got into high school I was already a troublemaker. A liar so no one trusted me, a thief so no one left me alone, and a smart ass just to top it off. When I was a Senior in high school our math teacher Mr. Walker left the answers to our finals math test in his desk. It was locked but it didn’t matter I stole the answers and sold them to all students that were taking his class. I made a good $400 and boosted everyone’s grades. Mr. Walker did find out what happened but his final grades were already submitted. Ahhh, the yelling I got for that one was only trumped by Mr. Witsmen our history teacher. That one I actually changed all his tests so all the correct answers on the final were "D"s. That took more work but was worth it. I watched him grade some of the tests and get frustrated when all his answer keys were worthless. Let’s see for Mr. Padilla in our computer class I did some research and made is so that every time you hit the “spacebar” the phase “Padilla is a Blizzard freak” would appear in the text box you were typing in. I did this to every computer in the school. I don’t think he ever figured it out. For Mr. Tugwell I posted on various forums and websites, hell I made a wiki page giving out his phone number for various services and offers, ahh the amount of time he spent blocking random people and dealing with his phone made it so class was always write something and laugh at Mr. Tugwell annoyed and enraged face. Ahh the good years.

The cops got a lot of phone calls on Friday and Saturday nights as I ratted out every party were people were underage or going to drive drunk. Pissed everyone one off but no one could really pin it on me since I was at a lot of those parties. I stole peoples ID’s and left them in awkward places. A lot of people got into fights because of me.

All in all I was just a giant asshole. Then the cosmos played the biggest trick there is on me and everyone else… It made me an “Arthurian Knight.” One who is nothing but honor, courage, and humility… yea, I think I destroyed the meaning of the term “Knight” within the first year of having that title. What happened when I first got my abilities was……

Zeno and Noel
house hunting

“We have been kicked out of 6 appartment complexes this morning Zeno. All because you are a sexist pig and will not talk with women!” Noel says angerly, while eatting a cheese burger.

(Shugs) “I talk with my sisters… on occasion.” Zeno replies eatting some fries.

“Barely. Anyways the next place I will do all the talking you just sit there and say yes when I tell you and sign where I tell you.” (sighs heavily) “Why do i put up with you, again?”

“You would get bored, or you are a masochist.”

“Probably both, but you owe me for putting up with this. And since you owe me you can go get a picture of a troll that lives under one of the many bridges here in DC.”

“Really… I doubt you would notice it if I put you face to face with one.”

“What do you mean… I am talking to one now.” Noel says innocently.

“Haha. Lets go get me a place to live so I don’t end up crashing on your floor.”

“Fine. I still expect that picture though!”


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